"A little song, a little dance, a little Seltzer down your pants"
Sometimes it's the greatest little bits that are the best. I pulled that one from a dedication on "Modern Family," a great show to watch.
Well, I have another preliminary poem for you called Lists:
Reasons Why I Work Here:
1) I need money.
2) I have bills to pay; thus see number one.
3) I cannot find another job.
4) For the jobs that are out there, I do not have the proscribed amount of years experience, exact match in degree, and I do not know anyone within the company to look past the buzz words and see the actual talent in me.
5) I am not rich beyond care and do not have a sugar momma.
Pleasant Alternatives to Current Situation:
1) Not work here.
2) Have a job with a real career path.
3) Have a job where I can expect to grow and be challenged.
4) Have a job with some reasonable amount of security or knowledge of termination date.
5) Work in an environment that inspires communication, not attention to a blinking cursor.
6) Win/Inherit a ridiculous amount of money.
Things I Would Do with a Ridiculous Amount of Money:
1) Make a money sandwich and eat it all down until my crap turned green.
2) Once I passed all of that, finally call in to say “I quit” à la Scarface in Half Baked.
3) Put a urinal in my bathroom.
4) Start a foundation for out-of-work clowns and circus members.
5) Work towards the dream of world peace, and smile, but with not too many teeth showing.