I know I am not a good blogger. In fact, I'm sure that one would realize this fact by a quick scan of my entries. They tend to be made up of excuses on why I have not been writing, and how I will change that habit.
I've come to accept that I am not an extremely dedicated blogger. Yet, at the same time, I have felt compelled to write an entry today after reading a couple blogs I regularly peruse. Both were on the topic of blogging and the entries refreshing as usual, but still did not spur the drive to make some scribbles, or, I should say, some tappings. What did it was a blog I stumbled upon. I am a big fan of the "Next Blog" button at the top of the page, and hate it when people disable it. Scanning through a series of blogs is always exciting as it is like opening a series of gifts, or walking into a book store to pull off random books and see if they spark interest.
So, when I had clicked through a bunch, one finally struck my fancy, and I started to read through her entries. The blog is Gitzen Girl, and I was fascinated with her style of writing. It's very engaging, and very easy to get hooked into reading it. Also, I am really digging people who choose to have a positive aspect of life, especially in times of difficulty. I am a negative guy by nature, so reading the entries of positive minded people are breaths of fresh air. I am skeptical sometimes on how one can always be a pool of such energy, but I know it's my negative feelings creeping in to try to discredit them.
Anyway, in her blog, she has been grappling with the very recent and unexpected death of her father. Her father meant much to her, and I can completely empathize as I lost my mother in similar unexpectedness. But the tragedy aside, I found the desire to write an entry today due to a past entry of hers. In one post she talks about how we are all given talents and it is usually our negative natures that cancels potential acts of greatness before we even begin them. We tend to mitigate our strengths by saying 'it will not be good enough,' or 'a waste of time,' or that 'no one will care for it'. We are so exact with the criticism that we shut down any attempts at exploring our possibilities, and instead rely upon the here and now of our situations: our jobs, our friends, our routines, what-have-you. That's not to say those three things and other aspects are not life-fulfilling. They are, but at times we tend to find a niche in between these things, and barricade ourselves to other possibilities, ones that might open us to new levels of personal contentment. I know I am guilty... and I would wager others are too.
In the end of the entry, she talks about reading a fortune cookie that quelled the doubt and confusion in her. It said, "You are competent, capable, and creative. Prove it." A simple declaration for sure, but it was enough of a push for her to find her mojo again and write the article she wanted.
Reading her blog and the fortune made me realize that I (too) am competent, capable, and creative. I can prove it as well. So, I am very thankful to her for the inspiration to write this entry, but also to help spur my creative writing juices in general again. I was heading into a lull there for awhile after hitting a bump in the progress of a story I have been writing. I side tracked with three short-stories and a few poems, but the impetus of output was lost. Refreshed now, I am going to tackle that story and a few others I have been cooking up. I now I can finish them, and, regardless if someone reads them, I know I can do it to the best of my ability. As Arthur Christopher Benson wrote in The Thread of Gold, "...the essence of the happiness is that the joy [of writing] resides in the doing of the work and not in giving it to the world." That seems to contradict what I am doing right now, but I deeply believe in those words. I love to write for the satisfaction it provides to me, regardless of how many people will read them. Would I like for people to read them and enjoy it? You betcha! But I know that I will continue with my work even if no one does.
So remember, as Gtizen Girl's fortune cookie said:
You are competent, capable, and creative. Prove it.